Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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