Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
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Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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