Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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