Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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