he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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