if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
