I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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