MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
