Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
