A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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