spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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