i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
