I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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