ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize