Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
