I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
