You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
