I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
