i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
