I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's just like the Real World with babies
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
