no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
