And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
