There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
