wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
