Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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