just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I could fuck to npr.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
