Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my shit smells like andre
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
