If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I love you. Go after that dick
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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