In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
