super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had to cum in my sink.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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