I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
