True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
