you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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