Already got asked if we're dating
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
