boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
