with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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