Dual....:-)
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
