Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
