Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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