I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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