we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He shit in the fireplace
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
