i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
