I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
