You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
