Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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