Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
