This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
