I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
