Can i not drive my cunt home
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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