Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
