dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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