i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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