just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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