I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
