Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's always time for handjobs
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
where are my eyebrows?
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