I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
