hotel room ftw
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
