You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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