She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
