I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
